You're my little dorito
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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