But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
