Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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