Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This is the high leading the old right now
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
