Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
