He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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