Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
well you can't waste a boner
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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