Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
40s are totally the cure
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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