Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
