My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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