another moral hangover. fuck.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
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Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
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It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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