either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
