did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
