This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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