My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
