Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
