I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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