So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
