I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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