hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I can text with my tongue
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
