I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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