i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize