don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
