Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
