imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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