Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
