"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
