fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
