You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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