at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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