Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
