its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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