I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
