Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
