I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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