Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
