KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
