Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
