What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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