White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
