Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
