where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
