I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize