Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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