morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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