and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
