so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
this boner is exhausting
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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