No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
