dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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