It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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