dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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