Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Let's get the cat blown out
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
