Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
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I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
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I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize