Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Randomize
