I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
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I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
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Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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