can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i dont even know how to be here
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
