My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize