I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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