no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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