Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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