also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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