The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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