he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
