Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
