I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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